Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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