At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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