i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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