I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
