did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize