i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
