Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
