well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
