I just threw up on my dentist
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
