it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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