Sry I called you an 8
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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