i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
