i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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