So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
