someone threw a dead crab at me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I believe in your delicious
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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