I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I look better un-naked...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
