Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
