i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
