i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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