Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
