I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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