I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
