lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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