I love black thongs
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
