ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We are all done wearing pants today
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
