i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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