In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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