you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
