Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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