dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we're making bets on your personal life
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
