but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
