just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
