We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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