Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
