I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need moral support for this bender
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
