I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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