so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
