Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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