Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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