doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
