but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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