A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
