did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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