I am puke
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
