I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yo dont text me then not text me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
