i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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