You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
