I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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