nut hugger
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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