; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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