Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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