Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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