i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize