come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
