I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
