Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
