I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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