I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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