guys are not supposed to queef...right?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
