its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
