hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This is my gift to your gina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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