Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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