i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
