No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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