I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
